red lips, she's a femme fatale

Too much time during the days has made me think a lot about life. Particularly when I read books and watch movies. When I read, I have a tendency to idolise characters. Namely, either the strong female character (who's better at like idk, sport or killing people than her male counterparts) or the girl who's smart and pretty and deep and wears super cool clothes and has a killer group of friends who all have super cool tastes in movies and books and whatever, and get high or drunk at parties and have meaningful discussions where she can't help but feel sad because you know, she's damaged. 

I can't really name any off the top of my head, but it feels as my life progresses, all the qualities of all the heroines I've ever admired have kind of merged into this idea of what kind of a person I want to be. And more than that, I want a story. I want a back-story to my life, one filled with excitement and experimentation and all the trials and tribulations that make life suck, but when the sucky days are over, the good days seem better by comparison. I want freedom and to forget about being the perfect daughter or the perfect student. I don't want to live my life with conservatism, I wish I were the kind to act with reckless abandon, that I could just go places without printing off maps and checking the transport timetables and get lost in some place I've never been because I took a wrong turn somewhere. But it wouldn't matter because the place happens to be a beach town with a killer view of the sunset from the top of a cliff. 

To forget about maths, but to still be well-read. The people I meet won't give a fuck if I can't draw the locus of a complex number but would want to discuss things like philosophy, religion, and good books or music. They'll introduce me to new things and places and we will do stupid things together. And we'll dance for an entire night, and we will get breakfast the next morning at whatever cafe we find. And there won't be any time constraints because we will have all the time in the world. 

Changing my bed sheets. Riveting stuff

Should I or should I not? $30 at Target. Ugly shoes tend to grow on me. 

In Myer, I found true love. But money gets in the way. Like always. 

Channelling the zombie vibezzzzz

I have no fucking idea. 

Oh and I turned seventeen last week. We went to this cafe for lunch and I ordered a salmon and asparagus quiche with garden salad. Lots of salad apparently but it was yum. 

My Christmas present from my sister. Jumper from Paint it Red. Inside the wrapped tube was a red lipglaze from Chi Chi. 

I might do a haul at some point or another for all the stuff I've bought from the last term or so. On my lap is a fascinating piece of Spanish Civil War historiography (I kid you. Why Mr Beevor must you write such a long book)

Trying my hardest to be a femme fatale. Oh yeah, this was the lipglaze I got from my sister. 

AND TIME FOR AN OOTD 

Good news for me: the lipglaze looked alright when half faded. 

So right now I'm trying to find a copy of For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway. A simplified version of what happened in the Spanish Civil War would not hurt either (hell, I need a picture book at this point in time). 

Should really continue with this research because ... IT'S TENNIS SEASON AGAIN. 

Oh yes, the one sport I can watch without wanting to jump out a window. 

Anyone else watching? Who's excited for the Australian Open?? 

Xx

Jess