allergic to girls who wear vanilla perfume

Listening to French songs and pondering why people choose to smell like vanilla. Cannot sit still and cannot understand what they are saying. I want to go to France. And Iceland. And the Greece Islands, as of this afternoon. 

Funny how whenever I decide to write on this blog, I suddenly forget what i want to say. 

But yeah, these past few days have been spent cooped up at home, trying not to jump out a window because that's how boring it is. It's like, there are so many things to do in this world, yet at the same time I can never think of what to do. Maybe I should make a list. 

Because then maybe I might stop being a whiny bitch all the time. I complain about having so much to do while never doing it. 

My sister got an iPad Air yesterday and it's so beautiful. Now I want one and I'm irritated because I was content before living with a shitass laptop because the extent of its shittiness was not yet known to me. 

Such gloomy photos but I like them. Sort of feels little house on the prairie crossed with twilight and teenage angst haha. I need more black clothing. Actually just more clothing in general. I'm still wearing the same clothes I wore years ago. 

But I'm broke as usual and I still need a costume for muck up day, so that's really not happening. 

Also I'm not happy with my short stories for school. I usually prefer to write more unrealistic stories that have nothing to do with my life but instead I was like I'm going to try something different and make it more raw and real and bam now both pieces are all mopey teen girl and I'm pissed at myself for having spent so much time on tumblr because that left me with no thinking capacity. 

Like one of them I was pretty much writing down my thoughts at the time because I was depressed and it seemed wise at the time. Now I'm scared to hand it in because I don't know, I have issues with people knowing what I'm thinking. 

It's such a terrible way of thinking, but I get all nervous when people ask about me and it's only been sort of recently that I feel comfortable talking about things that I like and feelings or whatever. Milestone #1: made my tumblr public and there's a link on my tumblr to my blogspot and so people from school can technically access this and be reading this 

I was worried for no reason as per usual because I realise now there really wasn't any point in hiding my blog because I'm quite open here about things and why not? What's the point of having a personality that no one gets to see? 

And as for my fear that people will think I'm super narcissistic for posting so many selfies and what not, well, I've realised I really don't give a fuck. 

Also, I found some pen pals! One of them's from England and the other's from Italy, so I'm happy I finally have a use for my email. 

And it's the Australian Open men's final tonight! I'm so pumped for Rafael Nadal to win (because he will lol goodbye wawrinka) and then it's MKR tomorrow night and I'm living proof that advertising works because I'm excited to watch the new season because (1) the twins "basically we have half a brain each" (2) I like the one with the reddish-brown hair's hair colour (3) the other girl team seems bitchy (but no one can be worse than last years Sophia in my opinion).

X

Jess

don't look back in anger

Slip inside the eye of your mind

Don't you know you might find

A better place to play

You said that you've never been

But all the things that you've seen

They slowly fade away

Step outside, summertime's in bloom

So, Sally can wait

She knows it's too late as we're walking on by 

My soul slides away

But don't look back in anger

Don't look back in anger

I heard you say

\\\

Just a couple of photos from when we went to the state library + city on Monday. 

there's plenty of time for life to suck later

Hello all,

I'm currently analysing Hemingway's For Whom the Bell Tolls for English, English Extension and History Extension. Multi-purpose to the extreme. 

I just felt like writing on this blog because I don't know, it's been kind of crap these past few days and writing is kind of a release for me. 

So recently, I've been marathoning The OC at nights with my sister and there was a quote from the episode where they go to Tijuana, when Summer tells Marissa after she finds out her parents are getting divorced that "There's plenty of time for life to suck later... Let's have fun right now." That wasn't the exact quote but it was something along those lines and it's kind of become my mantra right now. There really isn't any point worrying about what might happen, because if it does happen, then there'll be plenty of time to worry about it later. 

Seth has some seriously freaking awesome lines in there as well. He's the best omg I feel all happy and fuzzy when he does or says something cute. 

Aside from my hermit like night behaviour, I travelled to the city last Thursday with my friend. We were heading to the State Library but somehow we ended up lost and took a massive detour. Not to mention how Trip Planner told us to go to Stand Q at Wynyard and we reached Wynyard and were walking down the row of stops when we reach the last stop and it's actually Stand P not Q, because Stand Q wasn't even with the rest of them. 

I don't really get the chance to go to the city though, so it was still fun. Going there tomorrow again, but with my sister. We were going to go to Kirribilli today, but I kind of told my parents we were going to the State Library and they were like "then you can go on Monday. The streets are deserted on Sundays" (the implication being that we were gonna get kidnapped and murdered if we go on a Sunday) and I kind of just let it go because I don't want to fight with my parents. 

So I'm going tomorrow. And we're just going to go around the city. There's Market City I guess. And Topshop. And Zara. So it's not all bad. 

Going barefoot is the best. Wearing Sportsgirl tee, H&M shorts

I wasn't even wearing pants. That's how hot it was. 

Guys, I had a "I want to be healthy" phase which lasted right until I tasted natural yoghurt. 

Post Christmas specials are the best

Trying shoes on at Target the other week. These are the shoes I showed you guys in my haul. I love the 20s/60s mashup feel about them. 

What trip is complete without food? Tried the new pho place at Castle Mall. I love Vietnamese food. 

You know another reason why tomorrow is going to be awesome??? 

AUSTRALIAN OPEN IS STARTING YAYA. 

And I don't know if they're playing tomorrow but Tomic v Nadal has me very excited lol. Oh it's been too long since I've watched Nadal play. (Although Federer played in the Brisbane tournament and he's also so good to watch and so that's cool too :))

Bisous

xx

Jess

the moon and sun

I had an inheritance from my father,

It was the moon and sun

And though I roam all over the world 

The spending of it's never done

- Ernest Hemingway For Whom the Bell Tolls

Hey guys, 

Just a quick haul post today. Here are some of the things I've bought recently. I'm in love with all these things. 

How beautiful are these shoes? They were $25 at Target and they look so 60s from the front. I've been lusting after white shoes recently, and I'm so happy they also came with a Perspex heel. 

Also obsessed with the crystal necklace. Currently reading The Secret Circle series so maybe that's why. 

Bye for now 

Xx

Jess

red lips, she's a femme fatale

Too much time during the days has made me think a lot about life. Particularly when I read books and watch movies. When I read, I have a tendency to idolise characters. Namely, either the strong female character (who's better at like idk, sport or killing people than her male counterparts) or the girl who's smart and pretty and deep and wears super cool clothes and has a killer group of friends who all have super cool tastes in movies and books and whatever, and get high or drunk at parties and have meaningful discussions where she can't help but feel sad because you know, she's damaged. 

I can't really name any off the top of my head, but it feels as my life progresses, all the qualities of all the heroines I've ever admired have kind of merged into this idea of what kind of a person I want to be. And more than that, I want a story. I want a back-story to my life, one filled with excitement and experimentation and all the trials and tribulations that make life suck, but when the sucky days are over, the good days seem better by comparison. I want freedom and to forget about being the perfect daughter or the perfect student. I don't want to live my life with conservatism, I wish I were the kind to act with reckless abandon, that I could just go places without printing off maps and checking the transport timetables and get lost in some place I've never been because I took a wrong turn somewhere. But it wouldn't matter because the place happens to be a beach town with a killer view of the sunset from the top of a cliff. 

To forget about maths, but to still be well-read. The people I meet won't give a fuck if I can't draw the locus of a complex number but would want to discuss things like philosophy, religion, and good books or music. They'll introduce me to new things and places and we will do stupid things together. And we'll dance for an entire night, and we will get breakfast the next morning at whatever cafe we find. And there won't be any time constraints because we will have all the time in the world. 

Changing my bed sheets. Riveting stuff

Should I or should I not? $30 at Target. Ugly shoes tend to grow on me. 

In Myer, I found true love. But money gets in the way. Like always. 

Channelling the zombie vibezzzzz

I have no fucking idea. 

Oh and I turned seventeen last week. We went to this cafe for lunch and I ordered a salmon and asparagus quiche with garden salad. Lots of salad apparently but it was yum. 

My Christmas present from my sister. Jumper from Paint it Red. Inside the wrapped tube was a red lipglaze from Chi Chi. 

I might do a haul at some point or another for all the stuff I've bought from the last term or so. On my lap is a fascinating piece of Spanish Civil War historiography (I kid you. Why Mr Beevor must you write such a long book)

Trying my hardest to be a femme fatale. Oh yeah, this was the lipglaze I got from my sister. 

AND TIME FOR AN OOTD 

Good news for me: the lipglaze looked alright when half faded. 

So right now I'm trying to find a copy of For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway. A simplified version of what happened in the Spanish Civil War would not hurt either (hell, I need a picture book at this point in time). 

Should really continue with this research because ... IT'S TENNIS SEASON AGAIN. 

Oh yes, the one sport I can watch without wanting to jump out a window. 

Anyone else watching? Who's excited for the Australian Open?? 

Xx

Jess